John Wender has narcissistic personality disorder

John Wender
John Wender

John Wender is a NYC based architect at Bartolone Wender Architects. He is a sleazy cheater, liar, sex addict and misogynist.

Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they’re superior to others and have little regard for other people’s feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism.
Narcissistic personality disorder is one of several types of personality disorders. Personality disorders are conditions in which people have traits that cause them to feel and behave in socially distressing ways, limiting their ability to function in relationships and in other areas of their life, such as work or school.

Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by dramatic, emotional behavior, which is in the same category as antisocial and borderline personality disorders.

Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:

Believing that you’re better than others
Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
Exaggerating your achievements or talents
Expecting constant praise and admiration
Believing that you’re special and acting accordingly
Failing to recognize other people’s emotions and feelings
Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
Taking advantage of others
Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
Being jealous of others
Believing that others are jealous of you
Trouble keeping healthy relationships
Setting unrealistic goals
Being easily hurt and rejected
Having a fragile self-esteem
Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional
Although some features of narcissistic personality disorder may seem like having confidence or strong self-esteem, it’s not the same. Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the border of healthy confidence and self-esteem into thinking so highly of yourself that you put yourself on a pedestal. In contrast, people who have healthy confidence and self-esteem don’t value themselves more than they value others.

When you have narcissistic personality disorder, you may come across as conceited, boastful or pretentious. You often monopolize conversations. You may belittle or look down on people you perceive as inferior. You may have a sense of entitlement. And when you don’t receive the special treatment to which you feel entitled, you may become very impatient or angry. You may insist on having “the best” of everything — the best car, athletic club, medical care or social circles, for instance.

But underneath all this behavior often lies a fragile self-esteem. You have trouble handling anything that may be perceived as criticism. You may have a sense of secret shame and humiliation. And in order to make yourself feel better, you may react with rage or contempt and efforts to belittle the other person to make yourself appear better.


It’s not known what causes narcissistic personality disorder. As with other mental disorders, the cause is likely complex. The cause may be linked to a dysfunctional childhood, such as excessive pampering, extremely high expectations, abuse or neglect. It’s also possible that genetics or psychobiology — the connection between the brain and behavior and thinking — plays a role in the development of narcissistic personality disorder.

Risk Factors:

Narcissistic personality disorder is rare. It affects more men than women. Narcissistic personality disorder often begins in early adulthood. Although some adolescents may seem to have traits of narcissism, this may simply be typical of the age and doesn’t mean they’ll go on to develop narcissistic personality disorder.

Although the cause of narcissistic personality disorder isn’t known, some researchers think that extreme parenting behaviors, such as neglect or excessive indulgent praise, may be partially responsible.

Risk factors for narcissistic personality disorder may include:

Parental disdain for fears and needs expressed during childhood
Lack of affection and praise during childhood
Neglect and emotional abuse in childhood
Excessive praise and overindulgence
Unpredictable or unreliable caregiving from parents
Learning manipulative behaviors from parents
Children who learn from their parents that vulnerability is unacceptable may lose their ability to empathize with others’ needs. They may also mask their emotional needs with grandiose, egotistical behavior that’s calculated to make them seem emotionally “bulletproof.”


Complications of narcissistic personality disorder, if left untreated, can include:

Substance abuse  – John Wender is a substance abuser.
Alcohol abuse  – John Wender
Depression  – John Wender is a borderline manic depressive.
Relationship difficulties – John Wender is unable to hold down a relationship or be faithful to one woman.
Problems at work or school  – John Wender is unsuccessful.

NYC Architect John Wender

John Wender
John Wender NYC Architect

NYC Architect John Wender. Total player, very charming sociopathic narcissist, pathological liar and sleazy cheater with no remorse. I am posting this because of what he did to a friend of mine. She is way too nice to post something here herself plus she thinks his bad behavior is a “cry for help.” I say forewarned is forearmed! Read on: First of all, no matter what you think, you are NOT the only woman he is seeing or pursuing right now. He can’t and won’t stop sleeping around and lying about it. So don’t fool yourself just because he is charming and seems so open. He is very good at fooling people and manipulating them. Watch for his catch phrases like “starved for affection.” When he is hunched over his iPhone constantly like a hunched old man gnome, it is not because he is contacting his kids (his constant excuse he will use to lie to you when he has a date with someone else, btw) but because he is contacting another woman!

Second, know who you are dealing with. The guy really is a sociopath. Here is what he did to my friend. She has a sometimes debilitating terminal illness and is immunosuppressed. After she was with John, she got sick with many, many things that left her horribly ill and debilitated for months. She went to doctors and they said her partner should get tested because the tests were more reliable on him than on her. So when she told him how sick she was and asked him to get tested, what did he do? He dismissed her, lied to her, mocked her, and then told her never to contact him again!!! She is still sick and still getting treated and trying to find out all the things he gave her. It is horrible and she lost months of income and is totally depressed. All this after she was nothing but super nice and generous to him. Now what kind of guy would endanger a woman’s health and life and treat her this way, for NO reason? Just because he is cheap and didn’t want to go to the doctor (he is TOTALLY cheap), or maybe because he’d rather not know what STD’s he has so he can just keep sleeping around? Or because he just can’t be bothered? Even though my friend’s health and maybe even life is at risk? Oh, and he WILL try to get you to not use protection with him. You can be sure he’ll lie about being tested and about when he was last with someone, like he did to my friend!

My friend is beautiful and smart and kind and generous, but she trusts people too much. Don’t let this happen to you. The guy will try to get you to feel sympathy for him about his divorce and his life. He will seem all open and confiding. That is one way he tries to get women into bed. Believe me, he does it with everyone. It is all his act. He seems all sensitive and nice but he is truly a misogynist. He gets off on getting as many women into bed as possible and on f*cking them over. Some sick power trip. This goes with his addict personality — oh yes, he was an addict for many many years. Also this goes with the pathological lying. Notice he will change the details of anything he tells you, constantly. But if you try to mention it, he will get angry and turn it around on you and try to make you feel bad. He did this to my friend more than once. He cannot be trusted! It’s an illness, compulsive lying, with his OCD and his addiction.
So it turns out he also cheated on his wife for the entire 20 years of his marriage. Plus he will sleep with anything that moves, lots of married women, women he pursues on Craigslist (he writes five-page loveletters to skanks on Craigslist to try to convince them to sleep with him for free), anyone. His mean and nasty skanky “bff,” a woman, sets him up nonstop with more women to f*ck over. It’s some sick game of theirs, she’s like his pimp. He especially likes to target young single moms because as he said they are easy. Also women 20 to 30 years younger than him. He even says he is getting a vasectomy so these much younger women won’t make him wear a condom. Seriously, he is already blobby fat and gross and hairy and how long does he think younger women will let him into their beds? He thinks he is irresistible and even talks about himself that way! What a Loser! My friend wasn’t even sexually attracted to him at all but she tried really hard and she felt sorry for him. I guess that is the definition of a “pity f*ck.” I am trying to get her not to do that again!!

There is a reason he is in the middle of a very nasty divorce that has lasted over 2.5 years and that he has to lie to get women into bed. He is an insincere opportunist and he is sick inside, a real insecure jerk. Plus you will have your memory permanently seared with a very unpleasant view if you let him take his clothes off. Honestly I never knew my friend to let someone as gross as him get her into bed. Also he has a small package despite his huge a**. Oh and you have to let him always contact you first, every time – and if you ever write him an email or text that is more than a sentence long he will tell you you are “too much” at least he did that with my friend, he is such a total control freak, but then he will turn around and tell you you are being controlling. It’s all part of his manipulation act. If you ever call him on anything he will turn it back on you and try to make you feel guilty. He has many of the typical traits of a sociopathic narcissist, like being controlling, the nonstop lying that he can’t control, feigned empathy, not taking responsibility for his own actions, reckless, easily bored, lack of remorse or guilt. Notice too that he has a funny look in his eyes a lot of time, kind of blank, or squinty when he is trying to convince about something he is lying about. My friend gets chills when she talks about it.

You might have a few fun dates with this guy but believe me it is SO not worth it. Once you dump him he will turn into the cold nasty person he is inside.

John Wender Sleazy Cheater

John Wender New York
John Wender New York



A pathetic little gnome. Cheater, liar, liar, pants on fire. He thinks he’s so irresistible but he’s ancient, he smells foul, he’s got herpes (watch for those sores on his lips ladies!) and he has the smallest p**** I’ve ever seen. I was in shock when I saw it but felt sorry for him. A pity f*ck by definition! His pubic hair is white like Santa Claus. He may dye his hair but he doesn’t dye his hair below. EEEEEEEEEEEEW! He gave my friend herpes and more. Good catch ladies!
Manhattan based architect at Bartolone Wender. John Wender cheated on his wife for 20 years with hundreds of women while he spent half the family budget on illegal drugs for over 10 years to hype himself up for sex.
A true misogynist he revels in manipulating, torturing and mocking his victims. He is a sociopath and should be avoided at all costs.
Feel sorry for his children for they are doomed with this role model of a father.

John Wender New York Architect

John Wender NY
John Wender

John Wender is a New York architect who frequently engages in illicit sex play such as BDSM and objectification. He is a sleazy cheater, sociopathic narcissist, pathological liar, misogynist, drug and alcohol abuser. He enjoys degrading women, violence towards women sexually not limited to but including medical play, daddy/daughter scenarios, fisting, teacher/student scenarios, bondage, over the knee, rope play, dominance, breast torture, water sports and scat, rape play, pony play, forced orgasm, spanking, whipping, paddling and flogging, gagging, strap-on play, wax play and auto-erotic asphyxia and strangulation. John Wender enjoys age play and borderline pedophilia. He enjoys his sub to be collared and engages in strappado bondage.

He enjoys pleasure derived from causing pain and degradation to his subject. John Wender specifically enjoys the humiliation of a woman sexually and will frequently force himself on her in a violent and controlling way.
He enjoys voyeurism and has been known to be involved in the NYC sex scene/clubs/parties both as a participant and a voyeur.

He frequents sites such as,,,,, and
He uses these sites to find willing subjects for his abuse.

John Wender was participating in this lifestyle through his 20 year marriage and fueling it by his cocaine addiction. He recently got a woman pregnant while still married and dumped her when she refused to get an abortion.

He has many of the typical traits of a sociopathic narcissist, like being controlling, the nonstop lying that he can’t control, feigned empathy, not taking responsibility for his own actions, reckless, easily bored, lack of remorse or guilt. Notice too that he has a funny look in his eyes a lot of time, kind of blank, or squinty when he is trying to convince about something he is lying about.